Someone forwarded a “New Preamble to the Constitution” today. I’m going to frame and display articles one through ten, I think. They are simply good common sense. Even with article eleven, I have to agree that the phrase “In God We Trust” is part of our national heritage, whether for good or bad or neither. But it wasn’t added to our money without a break or made our official national motto until the twentieth century, and our country wasn’t founded on a belief in “one true God.” One other thing. The e-mail message claimed this Preamble has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye, from Georgia. A peek at Snopes reveals that the “Bill of No Rights” was written in 1993 by Lewis Napper, one-time Libertarian candidate for Senate from Mississippi.

NEW PREAMBLE TO THE CONSTITUTION

We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.

ARTICLE I:

You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone — not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of dummies, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III:

You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:

You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V:

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we’re just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI:

You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don’t be surprised if the rest of us want to see you get the blue juice.

ARTICLE VII:

You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don’t be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won’t have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:

You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE IX:

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X:

This is an English speaking country. We don’t care where you came from, English is our language. Learn it!

Lastly

ARTICLE XI:

You do not have the right to change our country’s history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, sorry if you are uncomfortable with it.

Misogyny? No, I don’t think the label on Witch’s Wit, a beer brewed by Port Brewing is a display of that. Just because a woman is depicted doesn’t mean the depiction is part of something that focuses solely on hating and degrading women.

The label is offensive though, making light of and capitalizing on the persecution of Witches, something that still goes on today in some parts of the world. I believe a company ought to be able to represent its products in whatever way they see fit. I can only hope Port Brewing sees fit to create a less hateful, less full of BS, less insulting label. Maybe that will put out the fire they’ve lit under themselves.

The beer itself sounds tasty, but none will pass these lips with that horrendous label on the bottle.

Here is a piece of code you can place on your php web pages to display the Heathen date instead of, or alongside, the Christian date. I wrote this because I’m learning the months, and it seems proper to replace the default date on my Heathen blog. Please bear in mind that for simplicity, the Heathen months in this code are aligned with Christian calendar months, rather than being based on moon cycles.

<?php
$xiandate = date('l, F j');
$xianyear = date('Y');
$heathendate = str_replace(array('Sunday', 'Monday', 'Tuesday', 'Wednesday', 'Thursday', 'Friday', 'Saturday', 'January', 'February', 'March', 'April', 'May', 'June', 'July', 'August', 'September', 'October', 'November', 'December'), array('Sunna&#039;s day', 'Mani&#039;s day', 'Tyr&#039;s day', 'Odin&#039;s day', 'Thor&#039;s day', 'Freya&#039;s day', 'wash day', 'Snowmoon', 'Horning', 'Lenting', 'Ostara', 'Merrymoon', 'Midyear', 'Haymoon', 'Harvest', 'Shedding', 'Hunting', 'Fogmoon', 'Yule'), $xiandate);
$heathenyear = $xianyear + 250;
print "$heathendate, $heathenyear RE";
?>

It will display the date like it does in my sidebar, but on one line and without my layout formatting. If you have a preferred spelling or name, just replace the existing one in the code with it. If you have a WordPress blog and would like to replace the date for each post with the Heathen date, here is that code too.

<?php
$pxiandate = get_the_date('F j');
$pxianyear = get_the_date('Y');
$pheathendate = str_replace(array('Sunday', 'Monday', 'Tuesday', 'Wednesday', 'Thursday', 'Friday', 'Saturday', 'January', 'February', 'March', 'April', 'May', 'June', 'July', 'August', 'September', 'October', 'November', 'December'), array('Sunna&#039;s day', 'Mani&#039;s day', 'Tyr&#039;s day', 'Odin&#039;s day', 'Thor&#039;s day', 'Freya&#039;s day', 'wash day', 'Snowmoon', 'Horning', 'Lenting', 'Ostara', 'Merrymoon', 'Midyear', 'Haymoon', 'Harvest', 'Shedding', 'Hunting', 'Fogmoon', 'Yule'), $pxiandate);
$pheathenyear = $pxianyear + 250;
print "$pheathendate, $pheathenyear RE";
?>

You can still leave the default date beside it, if you want, to keep it broadly visitor-friendly. I’m too busy to write WordPress widgets, so you’ll have to manually copy and paste the code into your template. Remember to back up your existing template page first.

Many Pagans choose to support expanded social programs, open borders, and a level financial field for all businesses, regardless of how much each earns. They promote across-the-board global environmental rules, and what they see as kids being raised by a whole community. More than one person has questioned how I can support conservative political stances and candidates, since I am a Pagan. Before anyone (else) jumps, let me clarify that I mean Pagan, not neo-Pagan. To me, “Heathen” fits quite comfortably under the blanket term, “Pagan.” And, because I feel, for now, that certain people deserve an explanation rather than the “go blow” response that comes to mind first, here is a bit more of an answer than I have given.

A recent Target store debacle has people up in arms. Target donated a large amount to an organization that supports Tom Emmer, a conservative candidate for Minnesota governor who has stood against gay marriage. Many are calling for a boycott of Target. This has me buying even things I would normally buy elsewhere at Target. Why? Not because of Tom Emmer’s stance on gay marriage, but because Target’s money, like that of other businesses, went to an organization that supports candidates most in tune with business. It’s not about gay marriage. Target actually has fair employee policies, and it wouldn’t even exist to have them if it didn’t put business first. The outrage over this is more of the same political mudslinging I’ve grown weary of. Yes, the CEO of Target, valuing his business, donated to a candidate who stands up for business. Which brings me to this point.

We support and vote for what we value most. I value freedom most, not just for me, but into the future for my kids and my grandchild, and beyond. While other issues are very important, without freedom there is no way to take them up. There are certain things a government, working for its people, should not be allowed to do. One is to force people to purchase a product or service for simply being born. For existing. This is an example of turning citizens themselves into products. Into slaves. I value protecting our borders, since a country and its local communities cannot grow when they have been invaded and are under attack from within. When we have freedom and are standing on secure ground, we are strong enough to focus on other issues.

Those who question you about your politics being against your religion are often the most outspoken against religion mixed with government. And what we’re voting on is government. The disputed political issues involve government. On the related question of how a Pagan can vote for a very open Christian? Those we elect to our government are, like the rest of us, human, and many adhere to a religion. They are influenced by their individual religions. So the important thing, all that really matters when it comes to this, is to keep everyone from having to adhere to one person’s religion. We need to keep religion out of our regulations and out of our government practices, but not out of the people who believe it. I will vote for an extremely open Christian if we agree on the issues most important to me, and I will stand against them when and if they try to infuse laws with religion. Since the thing most important to me is freedom, at least my hands won’t be tied by an administration that seeks to regulate every breath, and I will still have the ability to act.

I feel that my ancestors would be more respected by my striving to keep the freedoms they fought for, to be responsible for my own, and by my using the common sense and intelligence passed to me from them than they would by my handing these treasures to others. Individuals are the building blocks of community. Strong individuals equal strong community. Strong community equals a better future for our kids and grandkids. One look at my grandson is how I can reconcile my views that fall on either the conservative side or the liberal side with my beliefs.

If you count on media and schools to handle your parental responsibilities, you should have made a better initial assessment of your readiness to have children. And then you should have opted for a pet. Of the stuffed variety. Children require love and guidance, among other things. They require time. Don’t have time to spare? Unwilling to change or give up your career to make time? Then don’t have kids. It’s too late, and you already did? Then make time.

Public schools are there for providing academic education. While it is an environment where children also hone their social skills, it is the school’s responsibility to teach academics. It is not their job or their place to make religious, political, or health related decisions for students. These are family issues, and allowing or expecting schools to handle them creates several problems.

A school that decides to give condoms to grade school students is simply turning a blind eye to the true issue. The one of grade school children having sex. If an 11-year-old (or much younger!) is sexually active, the child needs help, not a free supply of condoms. The parents need to be made aware of the problem, so they can take appropriate measures. There might be something psychologically wrong, the child might need to learn to cope with peer pressure, or there might even be a sexual predator who has hurt the child. A parent should be his child’s protector and ally in the search for the root of the problem, and should not be run out of the loop by outsiders. In fact, a parent who has ample time has a good chance to better know his child’s behaviors and activities in the first place.

First-graders do not need schools to teach them that it’s OK to be attracted to the same sex. They need crayons and construction paper, numbers and books, a supervised, safe, fun environment in which to learn school subjects, not weighty, too-advanced social issue topics that ought to be left to families. Shame on my home state of Montana!

Parents who blame the media or the current state of society for problems created by lack of supervision at home and poor communication sound just like children. “I have to go along with it because everyone else is,” and “if I make this decision, my child won’t like me.” These parents should grow up, stand up for their children, and stop tossing aside their parental responsibilities and rights. Because someone is going to come along and pick up those rights, maybe someone unqualified or dangerous.

Time. Supervising a child takes time. And attention. Last year I was stunned to learn of a grade-school-aged child with autism being allowed free and often unsupervised access to loaded guns. This, around a tot. This is obviously an example of child endangerment, born of parents not providing proper supervision or a healthy environment. Along those lines, in another example of irresponsibility and direct child endangerment, a 10-year-old child with mental health issues was left to babysit a 2-year-old for seven hours. She cracked the toddler’s skull, out of frustration. Just heartbreaking.

If time is too much to ask on behalf of a child, then having a child is too much for you to ask.

Whether you like it or not, if you are in the part of North America between Canada and Mexico, you are in the United States of America. And I hope you appreciate the freedoms here. You are able to set up a home or a business in a manner you desire, on a plot of land. You may farm that land, set up your own source of electricity on it, and collect rainwater and guns on it. In fact, these are excellent plans. But no matter what you name it, that plot of land was “discovered” long before you came along, and it is now part of the United States.

That’s where the importance of politics comes in. Especially if you don’t like the flavor of current politics or the turns the US government is taking. Choosing not to vote in local and federal elections and to be completely ignorant of current affairs or the stances of your government representatives does not exempt you from the law of the land. When you do this, you silence your own voice and give up your own influence over those laws. Your silence and inaction is a nod of approval to whatever your representatives do, and you become a willing slave.

Maybe it’s better that way. You go ahead and play with your toys in your imaginary land, leaving the important decisions that effect us all to those better equipped to make them. Join the grownups when you’ve… grown up.